its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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