Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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