well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I need a hoe opinion
go on
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize