Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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