idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I hope mine doesn't look like that
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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