I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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