Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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