Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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