You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Randomize
