who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
there is puke in my bra ... again
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