She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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