I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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