Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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