watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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