i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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