we're blogging at a bar
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize