Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Randomize
