Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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