pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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