just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize