oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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