ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
