i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
