I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
