Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
