I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize