yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
