that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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