i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
