Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
