So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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