im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
