so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
