Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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