I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
