Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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