You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
