he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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