stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
This is the high leading the old right now
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Woke up backwards on a recliner
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
