Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
