its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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