What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
