im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize