This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize