my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
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