I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
