Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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