PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
