Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
