Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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