i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
