sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
