HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
