dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
As shirtless as possible
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
