The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
