2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
