Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
