the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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