Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
