Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
