So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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