the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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