The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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