i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
